World Cup songs
World Cup songs, submitted for national inspection
Twenty-eight years we waited. Now we're here — and so is everyone else, and they've all brought a song. Some official, focus-grouped until the soul leaked out. Some that an actual nation actually sings. We listened to the lot so you don't have to. Vote. Argue. Brace yourself.
The verdict: official vs unofficial
Here is the iron law of World Cup music: the official song is always worse than the one the fans chose themselves. Scotland knows this better than anyone. Our national anthem at this thing is a 1977 Spanish disco track about a woman lying to a man. We are uniquely qualified to judge. The corporate tier is below; ignore it and scroll to the songs people actually sing.
The Official Bracket: the villains
- Dai Dai — Shakira ft Burna Boy. Launched from the Maracanã with a cast of thousands. Technically flawless. Forgotten by the second chorus.
- Lighter — Jelly Roll & Carín León. A US/Mexico/Canada handshake set to music. Pleasant. Says nothing.
- JUMP — Coca-Cola's Van Halen cover. A fizzy-drink company covering a 1984 rock song to sell you a 1984 rock song. We see you.
The Unofficial Bracket: the real ones
- 🏴 Scotland — Yes Sir I Can Boogie. Makes no sense. Means everything. The Tartan Army adopted a disco record and turned it into a prayer. Your host. We're not biased. We're correct.
- 🏴 Wales — Yma o Hyd. “We're still here.” Defiant, ancient, sung in a language older than the tournament. Genuinely moving — our most dangerous rival.
- 🇦🇷 Argentina — Muchachos. The 2022 champions' anthem. Maradona, the Malvinas, grown men weeping. The best fan-written song of the modern era and they know it.
- 🇮🇹 Italy — Seven Nation Army. They didn't write it. They just po-po-po'd a White Stripes riff until the whole of Europe surrendered. Infuriatingly effective.
- 🇲🇽 Mexico — Cielito Lindo. “Ay, ay, ay, ay.” A century old, and the co-hosts will sing it loud enough to be heard in Canada.
- 🇧🇷 Brazil — the samba. Not one song, a drum section. They turn a stadium into Carnival and make the rest of us feel rhythmically inadequate.
- 🇳🇱 Netherlands — Wij Houden van Oranje. An entire country, dressed as a traffic cone, singing about how much it loves the colour orange. Beautiful.
- 🇺🇸🇨🇦 USA & Canada — no entry. The hosts have stadiums, money, and 104 matches. What they do not have is a song anyone sings. Vote for them out of pity.
